I am bountiful

I am the light of the soul
I am bountiful
I am beautiful
I am bliss
I am
I am

In my Friday yoga class I taught the set for prana apana, and ended the class with the above meditation, using the same celestial communication in "Mantras in Motion".

We sat in a circle and it was beautiful. 11 students and me.

I haven't done any yoga during the week. My weight is the same as it was beginning of January. Since the start of 2009, I lost 3 pounds and gained it back the week after the week I lost it. All of this despite the fact that my main goal for 2009 is to lose weight.

I think I can't trust myself to fit yoga in everyday, unless I finally, once and for all start to do sadhana every morning. I know it will be life-changing and I know I will never look back. I don't know what it is that holds me back. I know I am not a morning person, but ocassionally, I HAVE been wide awake at 5 a.m. and I am almost scared to do sadhana. I know it sounds incredibly silly but I think I know that it will connect me to the infinite, and I think on some level I am scared of that. If I am really honest, I am scared of leaving the status quo. It is easier to be ME than face the potential of being ALL I am capable of.

Anyone finding this blog, will be expecting direction from a seasoned yogi, given that I have been practising since 2002, BUT I called this blog "Kundalini Journey TRUTHS" for a reason.

I needed an outlet for my innermost true feelings that I never say out loud, for fear of sounding CRAP. But because I am a perfectionist, saying it out loud now, online, will start the course that gives me a degree of accountability.

My hotline to the heavens is readily opened and I know sadhana will have me radiant, glowing and a better person. I just need to take that step into the unknown. Whenever I do sadhana at the Yoga Festival or at a retreat I am in 7th heaven. What doesn't help is I don't drive, so even though there are several group sadhanas around it is hard to access them.

I aim to start a daily sadhana practice either Saturday or Sunday this weekend. Fingers crossed I will. Once I start....... I will log here my journey......... what kriyas I choose, the effects they have on me........... everything........ warts and all. Wish me luck. Wahe Guru!

Bye for now,

KY Heart.

Sat Nam.